I wish that it didn’t have to be this way

hands-in-pocketIts surprising how many men are struggling to deal with depression, low mood, self doubt. anxiety and all that emotional stuff that we are so bad at dealing with.

I talk of men because it are mostly men that I discuss these issues with. I have come across a couple of women, one in particular, and she is wonderful to talk to, but I sense that it is easier for women to talk about emotions. For men just talking about how we are feeling, how we struggle, is hard and these conversations create a special bond that men are not used to.

I believe in the power of conversation. These conversations that we have are, for men, only ever one-on-one. I wonder how it would be, how more powerful it could be, if we men were willing to, able to, have group discussions.

These one-on-one conversations, between friends, therapist / patient, its like its still a dirty little secret.

Take any group of men and consider how many of them, may be struggling with suppressed emotions and misconceptions about what it is to be a man, whether or not they realise it for themselves.

We only find others who are going through the same things as we are once we are courageous enough to speak up. Until that time, we suffer alone. How many men have suffered unnecessarily simply because they couldn’t speak up or speak out?

Its crap that we can’t do this better. I know about this stuff and I talk a lot about it but even I still find it hard to talk about and share. I’m thinking and hoping that the younger generations of men are doing it way better than us.

Yeah men need to change their ways and their attitudes, well many men do but we are as we are not just from choice. A lot of what men are about is because of social pressure. Its not a gender issue and I am coming to believe that its not a mental health issue. Its cultural.


If men can’t speak up and out about these issues, then who will?

4 Comments on “I wish that it didn’t have to be this way

  1. I agree. Men are their own worst enemies when it comes to “opening up” There is no shame in expressing how you feel. Men need to form better support networks among themselves and talk.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the feedback. Yes, men need to learn to talk and share but for men this is easier said than done. Women are far better at it. Please help us.


      • I have tried many times to encourage a former male friend of mine to open up, but it was like talking to a brick wall.


      • I wish that I knew the answer but I am on my own journey. I can only hope to inspire others to share this journey with me. Its long and slow, and it is going to take a whole lot of courage, the kind of courage that very few men know and understand. But its going to be an easier journey if I can bring a few mates along with me.

        Please help us along, one conversation at a time.


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